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Posts tagged “Airport

Randomly Selected

FB_IMG_1480384935379When I was in Adelaide featuring at the Palace, I went for dinner with a few friends of mine. My good friend, Justine, who used to sing in my all girl group, G-Force and is now an epic cosplayer who just so happened to have married an Aussie and now lived in Australia (Lucky me to have a friend on the other side of the planet!) her hubby, who is a journalist and author along with their two friends, who are wrestlers. Yep, at my table of creativity sits a showgirl, cosplayer, journalist and 2 hot wrestlers! Let the fun begin!

Sean, Justine’s hubby, looks over at me and says, “Tell them the story about when you went through airport security.” NOW…I have SO MANY stories of both, going through airport security and immigration around the globe that I was trying to remember which story he was talking about. So I said, “Ok, was it the story with the sex toys?” Everyone bursts out laughing! He’s trying to gather himself and replies, “No, no, not that one.” So I then blurt out, “Was it the one with the bondage gear?” Everyone is still killing themselves laughing from the first incriminating question I made and this second one just was over the top…Justine then says, “I think it’s the one with your posters and magnets.” “Ooooohhh….THAT one!” I say. You see, for some reason I always get ‘randomly selected’ when going through airport security. I go in for extra testing every time. It actually has made me lose faith in the security system at the airport. Here I am in my LuLu Lemons, bubbly blonde with a baseball hat and ‘I’ am always getting selected. Their selection process is shit. LOL The only threat I  would be is threatening people with a good time! Waa waaaaa! I am Da Bomb! Bombshell blonde, that’s about how explosive I get 😀 High calibre DDs, maybe! Anyways, I started to get frustrated with always being selected so I decided to pack my promo in my carry on, so that when the security officer opened my bag, my 18×36 nude posters would unravel along with my magnets. And it worked! The security officer opened my carry on to search my bag and when my posters fell out, he turned bright red. I told him he could have one if he wanted and I’d sign it for him 😉 He declined.

Nothing like this as a conversation starter to new people you’ve just met over dinner!

So let me guess….you want to hear the one about the sex toys, don’t you? Well, here is one for you. As some of you know, I used to have a well known duo called the Natural Blonde Thrillers and we used to do fully choreographed shows with skits. We were sensual not sexual and had a comedy component to our shows. This one time we were going through airport security and the female officer says she needs to look in our bag. Realizing that the bag had sexual content in it I told the security officer she’d need to take that bag aside as it contained inappropriate materials in it and we were around families. I was dying inside!! We had penis water guns, a penis pump and a huge strap on that we used in our Beauty and the Beast show! (I was the beast and would chase beauty around the stage with the strap on-it was hilarious!) She opened the bag, closed it with a look of disgust on her face and handed it to me angrily. I was trying to explain, “We don’t actually use those on each other! We are a duo act, it’s all for show! We are just friends!” She says firmly, ” I DON’T WANT TO KNOW” and walks away. You’d think we’d learn from that buuuut we didn’t.