Breaking the Stereotypes
As many of you know, there is a stereotypical perception around exotic dancers and I feel like addressing that today. For the most part, I have been extremely fortunate to have been shielded from this stigma, I believe it’s because of how I conduct myself and my business, however, I haven’t been completely except and seeing that this is an ongoing issue that affects everyone in the biz, it’s time to share a little, uncover a few layers of the onion.
I’ve ALWAYS prided myself in my showgirl status, performing elite shows with huge, exquisite costumes combined with many specialty skills such as fire, aerials, pole and showmanship; like something you’d think you see in Las Vegas. I LOVE entertaining and connecting with audiences and have always gravitated towards creative facets, such as music-having my own band which I managed and was a singer/songwriter for, acting and stunting in the film industry, writing, personal training (inspiring and designing programs for people to help them reach their goals) and of course, dancing.
What I LOVE about my showgirl career, let me count the ways lol: Embodying feminine energy and confidence and exuberating that energy on stage through the art of creating an erotic journey, the athletics I demonstrate with pole fitness, dance ability and circus skills, creating characters that audiences with love and connect with, designing the music that takes my audience through a playful and entertaining experience, developing shows that are creative with props and special effects that people want to come back in to be a part of the experience, that ‘Sweet Spot’ when I am completely connected to the audience, being able to fill a room and most importantly INSPIRE people around the globe through my own story and performances!
See, so far there’s more than meets the eye, even in the driving motivations behind creating the shows. I am an empowered woman who is tapped into her sensuality, sexuality, feminity and have chosen the stage as my platform and playground to demonstrate that. I am not some dysfunctional party girl, using drugs and alcohol, being promiscuous and that has daddy issues LOL I come from a loving and supportive family, I am a national level, natural athlete, I have excelled in 2 other careers and have a long list of accolades. I am a business woman first, creative artist second. And I’m not the only one! Many girls in this industry have interesting stories to share.
What had prompted me to write this blog was a random comment made from someone in regards to being a high priced escort from having a wishlist and receiving gifts from customers…at first I completely dismissed this because it was SO stupid and ignorant I didn’t think people actually would believe that. I mean, dancing on stage in an glamorous, expensive costume, performing acrobatics and high energy dance routines where NO ONE can touch you is completely different from having sex with strangers for money and gifts…Not to mention if I or any other elite, headlining, showgirl had that reputation you would NOT be booked. Venues do not want that behavior attached to their name. It is frowned upon. CLEARLY people understand the EPIC difference…I mean, I make more than enough money to buy my own damn gifts! And I do! But in this biz your fans sometimes want to express their appreciation, so it is common to receive things as well but without any intention whatsoever in the sex department.
But nope, this person in the beginning really did question that. I guess the being naked part equalled being openly sexual, too lol quite honestly, I VALUE myself, I have deep self-worth and self-love and am traditional in the intimacy department. I DON’T believe in just giving yourself to anyone. I don’t believe that sex is just sex. I believe in honouring yourself and sharing yourself with someone you have mutual feelings for. Meaningful sex only. So yes, provocative on stage, more traditional in my private life.
What’s also interesting is that I have more female followers than I do male. And many of these young girls and women are inspired by the energy I project, for I think they feel their own sensuality, desire and feminine energy heighten from my reflection, I have explained this before. I had a full front row of screaming ladies (not uncommon for me) and a male customer made a comment about how all the women were lesbians. “Maybe a few!, “ I replied with a giggle, “But the majority, nope, just women out showing their appreciation for anot
her woman’s sexiness and sensuality. It is a girl power era! I love it! It definitely helps break down that stigma over dancers because women can come into clubs and see for themselves what goes on.
I have never felt the need to hide what I do. In certain situations I may be more discreet but for the most part, I am proud of my accomplishments and what this career has done for me. Being authentic doesn’t come from what you do, it comes from who you are and when you are being true to yourself, you are being authentic, and when you are being authentic, you will flow that into what you do. So many people talk about taking the road less traveled, be yourself, follow your heart but many of those same people are the first to judge you when you do. I personally don’t care, I am a self-made woman and a successful one at that. I wouldn’t be here if I listened to other people’s judgments and opinions. Their opinions of me are none of my business. It’s their issue, not mine and I don’t make it mine.
When I conceived my son at a young age everyone said that if I kept him, I wouldn’t make it, I’d become another welfare statistic and my modelling career would be over…I owned my first house and vehicle by the time I was 21, traveled the world, had tons of modelling jobs and a successful band but most importantly, he was the BEST thing that has ever happened to me and he makes me proud everyday. We DID make it, above and beyond what even I thought I could do.
When I decided to put a band together, everyone sa
id that it was a cut throat industry, you’ll never make it, why don’t you get a ‘real’ job…. a year later we sang for Jay Leno on the Tonight Show, were on the front page of the newspaper, appeared on E.TV, Global Television, Shaw TV, Online TV and had several publications. When I decided to work in a gym I was told it was a man’s industry, don’t bother trying to move up….within 3 months I was the top producer in the company and in 6 months I moved into management.
When I decided to compete in a fitness competition, everyone said I wouldn’t win, it’s political, you need to pay your dues….and I won my first show. When I was going down to the States to compete in dancing contests everyone said they will never let a Canadian win one of their contests, I not only won 2 big titles, one of them being Miss Nude USA (yes, this Canadian girl won a US title…clearly it wasn’t political LMAO I just did the biggest show, a show that couldn’t lose) but also a slew of mini titles!!
These are just a few examples of where I’ve been and what I’ve done. There are so many more lol but I’ll share these ones with you for now. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that happiness is an inside job. You cannot make anyone else happy or accept you for who you are…and that’s OK. It’s not about making everyone else happy it’s about making yourself happy. And when you are in alignment with your passions and journey, your happiness with be felt by those around you and though they still might not love your choices, they might not battle with you on them because they like how they feel when they around your positive, authentic vibes. And for those who don’t, it’s their loss, not yours.
ahhh delving deep! And there are other ladies with stories just as thick, if not more. Never judge a book by it’s cover, you just might miss how interesting the story really is.
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